Friday, November 20, 2009

Just say NO! Five reasons to say, NO!

"You might get trapped by what you say; you might be caught by your own words. My child, if you have done this and are under your neighbor's control, here is how to get free. Don't be proud. Go to your neighbor and beg to be free from your promise" (Proverbs 6:2-3)*

At some point in time you have probably been a victim of your own words. You have said YES to someone and later you have told yourself: "Why did I say YES!? Now it is too late and I must live with the consequences." Since this happens to all of us, let's look at five reasons to just say NO!

1. Don't want it!
There are people that want to: A) sell you something, B) ask you for a favor, C) persuade you to be involved in something. I will call all three of these "ABC". Whatever "ABC" is, you are not currently interested. Don't be afraid, go ahead and say: "No thank you!"

2. Don't have time for it!
Most of us are busy; some are very busy and others are busy like crazy. Someone may bring you the "ABC"; you like it but your schedule is full and you don't have time for it. It is fine to say: "I like the "ABC" but I don't have time for it now. Perhaps I will have time for it in the near future."

3. Don't agree with it!
There are times that the situation is not that you 'do not want it' or 'you don't have time for it' but you simply do not agree with it. In this case, the person brings you the "ABC" but it is not according to your taste, goals or belief system. Be kind, but willing to say, "I don't want it." If the person asks for a reason, tell them the truth and you will avoid being asked again.

4. Don't have the finances!
We wish we could afford everything but we can't. There are times people want to offer you an "ABC" and you actually like it, would have the time to enjoy it and, agree with it. But, you can't afford it! Do not spend more than you can afford. Be honest and say: "It is not within my budget."

5. Don't like the person!
Let's be honest, we do not like everyone. All of us have people that we have "chemistry" with and others that we find "toxic". Whatever "ABC" the person is offering you: you may want it, may have time for it, agree with it and, have the finances to afford it. But, you dislike the person that is offering it to you. Be as kind as you can but say "NO, thank you!" If you really like the "ABC", find someone else that you like and get it.

Saying YES is normally a wonderful thing. But for many of us saying NO is a very difficult thing. Saying NO may sound rude and disappointing. We may feel guilty believing we have offended someone, or hurt their feelings. We ponder about our response and conclude based on guilt: "I should have said YES." All of us must decide when and why to say YES or NO. Consider the five reasons I have proposed and may your decision be based on truth and not guilt.

*New Century Version

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